


Everybody Wants to Rule the World

by ceealaina



Series: Tony Stark Bingo 2019 [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-24 05:39:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17698691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceealaina/pseuds/ceealaina
Summary: My first fill for the Tony Stark Bingo!Square: A2 - Accidental VillainyRating: TWarnings: NonePairings: Tony/Bucky (mentioned)Summary: After a long night of engineering, Tony makes a terrible, terrible mistake. This fulfills the 'accidental villainy' square on my Bingo card. I ended up taking this in a completely different direction from what I'd originally planned.***Tony stared down at his hands in horror, mouth falling open. “Oh no,” he breathed softly. “What have I done?”His hands were stained red, and he rubbed at his palm, trying to remove the spot, willing time to somehow go backwards and undo the horrible thing he had just done. Swallowing hard, he looked up at Bucky, who was staring at him like he didn’t quite know what to say.





	Everybody Wants to Rule the World

**Author's Note:**

> This is a little silly, but it's been an excellent warm up!

Tony stared down at his hands in horror, mouth falling open. “Oh no,” he breathed softly. “What have I done?”

His hands were stained red, and he rubbed at his palm, trying to remove the spot, willing time to somehow go backwards and undo the horrible thing he had just done. Swallowing hard, he looked up at Bucky, who was staring at him like he didn’t quite know what to say.

“You’re sure?” Tony asked, eyes going wide at Bucky’s pained look. “You’re absolutely sure?” 

Bucky nodded gravely. “I’m sure, doll. That was absolutely Clint’s sandwich.”

“But...” Tony scrambled around for the wrapper. “There was no label on it! It was in with the leftovers from the other night, and I checked. There was no...” He trailed off as he spotted the black scrawl on the tin foil that, if he squinted really hard and assumed the weird sideways V was a C, could _maybe_ pass for Clint’s name. “Oh, come on!” he protested. “That’s barely a name! That doesn’t count!” He looked back over at Bucky, whose lips were starting to twitch. “I just spent all night in the lab working on equipment upgrades. I was _tired_. You can’t expect me to read that!” He knew he was protesting too much, trying to ignore the fact that he really did feel kind of guilty. “Maybe he won’t notice?”

Bucky winced at that, and Tony narrowed his eyes at him.

“What?”

“That’s not just any sandwich, sweetheart. That’s the last sandwich he got from Gino’s before they closed. He’s been saving it since yesterday. Spent all morning talkin’ about how much he was looking forward to it. It was gonna be his reward for making it through the SHIELD evals today.”

“Oh,” Tony said faintly, staring back down at his hands. He held one up, tongue darting out to taste the sauce marking up his skin. “I thought it tasted extra good for a leftover fridge sandwich." He drummed his fingers against the kitchen table, mind whirling. “Still, okay, let’s not panic. I can fix this! I just have to... Make Clint a new sandwich.”

Bucky snorted indelicately, snickering at the dirty look Tony gave him. “Tony, you can’t make an omelette. How’re ya gonna recreate a Gino’s sandwich?”

As a mature adult, it was Tony’s obligation to stick his tongue out at Bucky. “I didn’t say _I_ had to make it,” he answered dryly, although that had, in fact, been his initial thought. (He hadn’t slept in awhile, so sue him). “I’m a genius billionaire. I’m going to... Find Gino’s number and call him up and offer him obscene amounts of money to come over here and make one last sandwich. One time only encore presentation.” 

Bucky just laughed at him, and Tony was seriously considering dumping his boyfriend. “Okay first of all, Gino’s is the restaurant, not the cook. And Will moved to Austin to be closer to his daughter and grandkids. Considering Clint’s due back in about twenty minutes, I don’t think even Iron Man can help you with this one, doll face.”

Tony sighed, flopping back in the kitchen chair. “Well, that’s it then,” he said. “Better call up Steve and tell him the Avengers will be disbanding, because no way this isn’t going to destroy the team.” He made a face, looking back up at Bucky. “Oh god, and Clint’s gonna give me those confused sad eyes. I hate when he does that. This is the worst.”

Bucky just leaned down, kissing the side of Tony’s head. “I’ll remember you well,” he promised. 

**

By the time Clint made it back to the tower, Tony had ordered in his favourite lasagna, complete with garlic bread, and had arranged to cover the cost of unlimited pizza from Clint’s favourite parlour for the next year. He’d even personally picked up some of the weird little pastries that Clint loved from the super sketchy pastry shop with the old French lady who hated Tony for reasons he had never really figured out. He’s scrubbed his hands until there was no trace of sauce and was waiting for him in the common area, a bright smile in place.

“What the fuck is wrong with your face?” was the first thing Clint said when he stepped off the elevator. Tony’s smile immediately dissolved into a frown.

“Nothing, asshole. Jesus. I just had extra food from dinner and thought you might want some.” 

Clint gave him a suspicious look. “Thaaanks?” he said slowly, moving toward the kitchen. “I think? But I’ve got a Gino’s sandwich with my name on it.”

Tony made a pained noise at that, and Clint stopped on his way to the fridge, turning to look at him.

“What?” he asked, horror slowly crossing his features. “Tony?” His eyes narrowed in on Tony’s hands, and Tony followed his gaze to the smudge of red that he had apparently somehow missed from his ring finger. He couldn’t help cursing internally; Hawkeye indeed. “Is that Gino’s red sauce?” Clint asked. “Tony? Did you eat my sandwich??”

“Okay,” Tony said. “Okay, in my defence, I was very tired, and also, where did you learn to write, Barton, dear lord? Do you need some penmanship lessons because how was that even your name?”

“I grew up in the circus, you dick,” Clint told him without any real heat. “Handwriting wasn’t at the top of the list. How could you eat my sandwich? Are you secretly a villain on the side or something?”

“I know, and I’m sorry,” Tony told him. “I feel really bad about it, I do. But look… I got you lasagna instead?”

Clint just sighed, shaking his head. “It’s not the same,” he mumbled, before turning baleful eyes on Tony and sighing again. “It’s okay, Tony,” he told him. “I’m not mad. Just… disappointed.” 

Tony shivered at the sudden flashback to being seven and breaking human-Jarvis’s favourite teapot. “No, don’t say that,” he said. “Be mad at me! There must be some way I can make this up to you.”

It took a whole whack of promised arrow upgrades (a Boomerang arrow, Barton? Really?), promising to spar with him whenever he wanted, and the use of any one of Tony’s cars as needed - in addition to what Tony had already arranged for him - but eventually he was able to leave Clint with an almost smile on his face.

**ONE WEEK LATER**

Tony was soaking in his bathtub, steam from the hot water billowing through the room. They’d had a hell of a fight a couple days earlier, and every muscle in his body hurt, but this was helping. He grinned when he heard the door open, Bucky’s familiar footsteps moving through the bedroom, the other thing that was guaranteed to make him feel better. 

“Hey baby,” he purred when Bucky slipped in through the door. He gave him a lopsided smile, feeling loopy from the faint scent of the bath bomb he was using, and waggled his eyebrows at him. “Fancy meeting you here.” 

Bucky didn’t return his obnoxious flirting, though. Instead he slowly tilted his head to the side. “Tony…” he said carefully. “Is it me, or does that smell like the last of Clint’s limited-edition, never-coming-back-in-stock LUSH bath bombs?”

Tony’s eyes went wide. “Oh no,” he breathed, staring down at the thick layer of bubbles. “What have I done?” 

The end.


End file.
